Thin Lines
by SquickWrites
Summary: It wasn't that he loved Shizuo. He hated him. But that was more than he should have felt about... anyone.
1. Thin Lines

**Holo! This was inspired purely by a picture I saw on tumblr, this one: **.com/post/9722513911/the-noise-i-now-make. **It magically turned into a five page fanfic at one in the morning. I'm pretty happy with the result for the whole escalator thing, because I wasn't even looking at the picture. It made me so excite that I got it right! And also, I will laugh if anyone sees that Cobra Starship reference. It was an accident. But anyway! Let's GO BATCHEZ~**

**~Ota/Chae**

**X.x.X**

Izaya Orihara knew the meaning of the word sociopath. And he was well aware that he was one. Humans were fun, but they were toys. Nothing more than a hobby. A personal favorite, yes, but still just a hobby.

However, over the years, one human had evaded that whole attitude. Entirely. It was unfair, and it upset him, every day. So he poured more time into his hobby, only to be continually stalled by that one man.

The obvious misconception was that Izaya Orihara loved this man.

This was wrong.

In Izaya's mind, a boundary had been broken. But that did not leave a positive effect. It was, in fact… enraging. Even though it was just one man, that still meant one thing. There was a hole in his shield. Izaya did not even enjoy knowing that his defenses were _dented_. But completely penetrated? It was despicable, and he hated these imperfections. Izaya hated that man. He hated him because he hated him. Hate. Something that he really should not have been able to feel.

Shizuo Hewajima made Izaya Orihara _feel_, and he did not like it.

**x.X.x**

The fights were probably what started it all. Shizuo was the avenger type. And he also held grudges. So to say the least, he had never quite gotten over the shirt incident. He tried to keep Izaya out of Ikebukuro, or… the planet completely. Which was quite a stretch over a _shirt_, but that's how it was.

At first, Izaya thought it was cute. Then funny. Then it was just annoying. And only after he realized that someone was annoying him did he start to take notice of the fact that yes, there was hatred. He continued smiling like it was cute or funny, but Izaya got into those fights because he was waiting. Waiting to get over it. He'd pop up in Ikebukuro, provoke Shizuo, and see if he still hated him.

He always did.

**x.X.x**

It got worse though, when the emotion started affecting other things. Like his hobby. He would plan fun little things for himself. He'd give himself tasks, field trips, and there was always this annoying feeling. There was something in his mind that kept informing him of where Shizuo would likely be, whether or not they might cross paths.

Eventually, Izaya saw that although he 'ignored' these thoughts, they still got to him. Somehow, the plans would come out with Shizuo somewhere in the middle. When he was done with his business, he'd work Shizuo into his schedule. If Izaya's day was a story, Shizuo was always a main character.

But Izaya was not very fond of the casting.

**x.X.x**

This wasn't some lost cause though. Izaya Orihara had better things to think about than Shizuo Hewajima. So he tried to diagnose himself. Izaya did not know if it was good or bad, but he was noticing a lot because of Shizuo. Like just how obsessed he was with the blonde. However, that seemed unavoidable.

Shizuo, even though in a negative fashion, had somehow forced a sociopath to care. _Knowing_ that he cared made Izaya care more. Noticing that he cared more the more he cared may him pay attention… and around here in his diagnosis, did Izaya Orihara realize he cared about one thing. And it was one thing that he hated.

Shizuo. Hewajima.

**x.X.x**

So eventually he looked elsewhere. He did not exactly feel safe mentioning any such thing to other people. Instead he went to the internet.

They never told lies.

In the search engine, he typed '_Apathy_' and then return, waiting for results. There were articles and essays about apathy, but Izaya Orihara was too apathetic to even care. So he switched methods.

Next, he typed in '_hate_' There were religious sayings, opinions. Definitions, nothing of interest So he added, '_cure for_' behind the word '_hate_'. And waited.

Apparently, no medication was available. There were pages on how to make people like you, being popular, getting along with others… things for pubescent girls.

As it would happen, Izaya was not a pubescent girl.

So he sighed and considered. Perhaps, there could be some sort of _philosophy_ on hatred that would help. There was a chance. Why not. So Izaya deleted the characters one at a time, then typed in '_Hate Quotes_'

The first result scared him.

Not because it was dark or cruel, but because of all the possibilities behind it. After all, Shizuo Hewajima had managed to clog up so many obvious things. It could _happen_! So Izaya backed away from his computer without closing the browser. He began to play his game as he tried to figure himself out.

"_There is a thin line between love and hate."_

**x.X.x**

"_Shizu-chan! Shi-zu-chan!"_

Overall, considering who he was, Shizuo Hewajima was having a good day. But the mood was being slowly demolished by an all too familiar voice that he never _ever_ wanted to hear.

But. He could control himself. Today was a good day. So he continued making his way to the escalator and ignored the informant that was surely behind him.

"_Shizu-chaaan~ Wait a second!"_

Shizuo stepped onto the up escalator, hands in his pockets, face forward.

But Izaya would not be deterred as he jumped onto the down escalator and took two steps at a time to catch up in the opposite direction.

"_Shizu-chan! I know you can hear me!_"

Shizuo stared forward.

"Well ok Shizu-chan, but I still want to talk!"

Shizuo stared forward.

"The internet told me that the line between love and hate is thin. And we both know how much I hate you."

Shizuo sneered. "You suggesting we jump that line?"

Izaya smiled, finally getting his response. "No, no! Not at all!" he grinned more. "I know it's thin, but if we team up, we can probably land _right_ on that line. And I can go back t not caring about you!"

Shizuo looked angry. Hateful. That was hate.

Well if they _both_ hated each other, they'd be all the way on the side of hate, and even _further_ from their goal! That could not happen! In order for them to properly land on the line, there had to be balance.

Well if Shizuo provided the hate, Izaya could provide the love.

Shizuo was aiming to grab Izaya by the throat, and crush whatever chance of air he had, but the dark haired male evaded that. Then he quickly grabbed Shizuo by the collar.

Shizuo was only shocked for a second because… it never went like this.

But a second was all it took.

As Izaya let the escalator slowly pull him down in the correct direction, he'd dragged Shizuo Hewajima nearly _over_ the barrier disconnecting the transports and shoved their lips forcefully together. He leaned over only slightly to steady himself against the rail as Shizuo was barely able to keep his feet beneath him while he was pulled incorrectly down the escalator as the stairs continued their way upwards. There might have been another attack if the main focus hadn't been _balance_.

When Izaya thought it appropriate, he let go of the blonde and backed away. Then he grinned again, murmuring,

"I wonder if it worked?"

Then he jumped, ditching the escalator completely, and ran for the door.

He could only laugh as a signature, "**IZAYAAAAAAAAA!**" erupted from the building.

**x.X.x**

Izaya Orihara waited a bit, then decided to diagnose himself again. At the end of the diagnosis he was just as, if not more, unhappy.

His plan had not worked at all. It just confused him more. Suddenly, Shizuo was not just on the hate side of the spectrum. He had also somehow fallen onto the other side. He was muddled into the pink section of love. But at the beginning of this, he was on the red spectrum! The hate side! And he still was… and it was suddenly as if there were two different sides to that one man, and each side sat on either side of his spectrum, just loving how easily the situation got under Izaya's skin.

As for Izaya…

He had lost that one foot he had on the black line of apathy.

Now he was lost somewhere in the gray area between all three.


	2. My Legs Don't Hurt Yet

"Namie, you're like my secretary now, huh?" He asked, tossing his head back across the couch.

The woman's face was only slightly bitter as she nodded, taking a sip of her tea. "I guess you could say that. In a way."

"Then it's your job to do what I say. Like answer my questions, right?" He pushed again, trying to provoke the response he desired.

Again, she nodded in that same bitter way. "Yes. I suppose so."

"Right answer." He smiled, lifting his head. "So how much would it repulse you if I were to delve more into the love life between you and your brother?"

Namie frowned with a raised eyebrow, then slouched into a desk chair, defeated. "You wouldn't let me get all _too _repulsed, now would you?" She sighed. "But you always make it seem like you already know _everything_ about that relationship, so what questions could you even have for me?"

Izaya shook his head. "Namie, of course I don't know _everything_, just enough to be manipulative is all. However," He turned around, leaning of the couch to meet the woman's brown eyes.

"Even though I do know quite a bit about your feelings towards him, I am willing to admit that I know very little about your emotions."

The woman scrunched her eyebrows together, confused. "What's the big difference?"

"There is a big difference, but if you don't understand it, it can be near impossible to explain. So let us _assume_ that you get the difference and I will make these questions easy for you." Izaya shrugged, compromising for his secretary's lack of understanding.

Namie twitched at that. She did not particularly enjoy being looked down upon in such a way. Even so, she would rather he treated her this way than let him lead her onto the conversation and then bluntly point out her lack of participation. That would just make his day, and Namie was not willing to be the object of Izaya's twisted affections.

"Then proceed." She commanded as well a secretary could.

"Ah yes, so Seiji." Izaya sat down, tossing his arms over the back of the couch and crossing his legs. "You're still in love with him, aren't you?"

"_Still_? When did I ever admit to being in love with him in the first place?" Namie was quick to protest, which she instantly regretted. Izaya could see right through that sort of thing in a flash.

With a loud '_tch_', Izaya laughed. "Namie I thought we were past this whole phase of denial! But you're almost a companion now, so I may as well satisfy your petty needs too."

He stood up, spinning quickly with a soutenu to face Namie again. "Do you still have those same _feelings_ for Seiji as when we first became affiliated?"

Namie stared at him, searching for the catch in the question, but finding none, she settled back into the chair. "I guess you could say that. His attraction to that _head_ still disturbs me beyond comprehension. And it certainly angers me that he cheated his way into having a relationship with it, even if I did play a part. However…" she put her hands into her lap, shifting slightly. "We are brother and sister. It would be sad if those petty things came between us, wouldn't it?"

Izaya stared at her, his sly smirk still gracing his face. However, internally, he wasn't so interested. He didn't desire this sort of answer. Brother-sister relationships had nothing to do with him – what he needed was _general_ feedback. But how many ways could one say that without insinuating something else?

"Well suppose that he wasn't your brother? What if this whole thing was an unrequited love, and he found another woman? Tell me Namie." He was clearly speaking to his secretary, but he was staring of into a space on the wall next to her head. "Would you still be able to love someone like that – have that same sort of trusting relationship and not absolutely _hate him_?"

For a second, Namie actually looked concerned. Izaya's face had contorted into a sour expression, and the last question had come out through a nasty sneer. What could this questions have _really_ been about to provoke this sort of reaction from him? This was feeling less and less like the real Izaya the longer the conversation went on.

"It could happen. It wouldn't be likely, but it would be completely possible. It all depends on the person and what they are…" She tapped the fingers of her right hand on the palm of her left, dragging out the word. "Worth. They would have to be extremely important to me – like Seiji is important to me. Otherwise, why bother chasing someone you don't care about?"

Izaya's vision quickly redirected itself at that last part. He made direct eye contact with Namie, staring daggers, but that haphazardly subsided as he didn't enjoy showing such an emotion. He nodded slowly, then shrugged as he put his hands on his hips, walking over to the woman.

"So you could fall out of love with someone _that_ quickly?"

"No." Namie shifted again, crossing her ankles as she leaned into the chair a little more. "I mean, of course, if you loved them, there would probably be some residual emotion. Perhaps a bit of sadness, bitter distaste, spite – in some cases pure and utter hatred can come from an unrequited love of any sort. Not just another man or woman, but simply not being loved back is enough to provoke it."

Izaya frowned once more. She was speaking figuratively of course. She had to be. But as the words poured out, they seemed to be more and more relative to his current problem – almost like she already _knew_. But that was a coincidence.

_Because Shizuo would never chase me because he cares._

_He chases me because he hates me._

_And I hate him too._

_And _that_ hatred is not a product of unrequited love._

_Neither of them are._

"So you would say that, inarguably, it is easier to fall out of love – and quite possibly – lose all respect for someone, than to vie for their affections?"

Namie smiled a sad sort of smile. "When attempting to jump high enough to get into someone's view – even if you just want a second of their attention – wouldn't you say it's easier to hit the ground after that last attempt than to keep jumping? Doing something repetitively is immensely frustrating, and after a while, certainly, your legs would begin to hurt."

**x.X.x**

***headdesk***

**I'm sorry, I thought I should add a noooote… so I decided to add on to this because I was asked to, and GAHD it was hard. Mostly because of Namie. My Durarara! Experience is purely based on the anime (which I still have not finished), and I don't think I'm getting a lot of her personality with it. But I tried my best..! Sorry if anything is ooc – obviously not my intention.**

**It is however my intention to make Izaya do ballet. Do not argue with me on this.**

**~Chae**


End file.
